I PASSED!!!!

Heh heh heh, I passed the CNA test. In Ohio it's commonly known as the STNA test. Basically I passed the test given by the state to be a certified nursing assistant (or, State Tested Nursing Assistant). I am so very excited, I can't wait to start applying for work and hopefully getting hired soon. Slowly as everything is going (which is fine), most of the stuff I planned out is coming together within the timeframe I expected. This is great.

I can't wait to start working. I can't wait to start my college classes. I can't wait to finally be ahead in life!

This is great.

PM&R, college, work.

I have a PM&R appointment on the 23rd, kind of sucks I can't go in earlier but the college representative said that everything should be fine. I know I need some kind of accommodation but seeing as I've never been disabled before, I have no idea what it is. Also, there are some little things that need to get done on my vehicle, but it's not urgent. Then, I'm thinking about new furniture for the Boy, but I won't be able to look at any until I start working--and that should be soon so, NBD. Gosh, I started filing away paperwork last week and still have not completed it...I need to go do that. There are other things that I would like to get but it's not life-or-death important, so I'll just write it all down and figure out a budget to get it all in time.

I'm so happy, I've been so happy lately. Unbelievable as it is, I am happy. I can't wait to update all of you on BBC when I get my test results!

Oh and:

Hi, creepy stalker! It's nice to know that regardless of how much you hate me, you're still thinking about me!

Test day!

Tomorrow is test day. I need to read my book and make sure I know what I need to in order to pass. Shoot. I have to go read.

Okay, I'm excited about test day, but it's a big test so I'm nervous. Boo.

Wish me luck, please :)

ETA (5/11/13, 8:46PM)
I got finished with the test at around 2 or 3-ish. I think I passed, it was not as difficult as I was expecting. I should go over the skills that I did to see if I did do something wrong. Since tomorrow is Mother's Day, I won't get my test results until around Wednesday to Friday and that's okay. On Monday, I'm going to go to the company that I applied to in order to give them the information they were requesting. I hope that I did pass this test (I think that I did, lol) so that I can apply to a facility and a hospital. Then, I can work in an actual building instead of someone's personal home. Also, I can't wait until starting college.

I'm going to miss being able to spend so much time with Pumpkin, the time away from him should lessen as I get closer to the end of my goals. Right? ...I hope so.

My dearest child,

I love you more than life itself. You are so smart, so handsome, so loving, so happy, you impress me every single day. You are my world. Everything I do, have done and plan to do, I am doing for you. I smile at you when I see you asleep. My heart warms when you come cuddle and hug Daddy or me. When you sit and figure something out that puzzles you, I become impressed by your determination, your concentration and the speed with which you work.

This week, you have been getting angry frequently because we happen to tell you "no". I understand, my love, it is frustrating when you want to do something and suddenly you can't, you're told to stop, you're told "no". It's completely understandable that you just want to figure something out or inspect it a little further. Everything is new to you and we understand. It's fun to learn how a remote works, or how a computer types, or what buttons to push to win that game on Daddy's PS3. I'm sorry, darling, that we don't let you go about pushing all the buttons you want. I know it's hard to hear the word "no".

Everyday that comes, you wake up happy. I hear you start to move around in your bed and you have one-sided conversations. You smile a big, toothy grin when we come to get you out of bed. You laugh and contort when we try to change your diaper. You pull and guide us by the hand around our home or in the store or at the park with a big smile and happy laughs. The conversations you have are always so emotional and emphatic.

Daddy gives you his old phone to play with and you like to throw it around so the battery comes out. Smart as you are (!), you saw Daddy put the phone back together twice and that was enough for you to learn how to put the battery cover back onto the phone. You are so smart! I've buckled you into your car seat and high chair enough times for you to figure out how to do it yourself! You pick up your toys, no one told you to! Where'd you learn that? You amaze me every day. We teach you things and don't even realize that's what we're doing.

It breaks my heart that I will have to start working soon and I'm in tears that I start college on the 28th. I won't be able to get you up and dressed in the morning when you wake. I probably won't see you before you go to bed. I won't be able to play with you often or for very long. I'm going to miss all of this extra time that I do have with you. All of this time that we've had together, I am happy for it and I'm sorry that it won't last forever. You are growing so fast, Pumpkin.

I love you with all my heart, my son.

Time Management

I'm having a difficult time scheduling and managing my time, it's sad. Not only that, but I can't remember offhand what's already been scheduled and when--darned memory. At least I have my planner/agenda.

These next two weeks, I have job interviews. I also have the state test on Saturday, I'm excited and hope that I pass. We also have a few random appointments in between my interviews. Also, I start college on the 28th, which is great but I'm still a bit anxious about it.

My next PM&R doctor appointment is on the 23rd, the representative at college said that should be enough time to incorporate the accommodations that I'm going to need. I'm glad that I've improved/recovered so much since the accident last year. I seem to be getting better every day that passes. It's a bit frustrating that it's going so slow, but there's nothing I can do about that.

I also talked with my case manager and she helped me figure out what is going to happen with the changes that are coming so soon. I'm glad that there are some people who are willing and taking the time to help me, it was frustrating a couple of months ago when it was difficult to understand them and it seemed like no one wanted to help.

Stop living in the past.

That's what I learned today--actually it was more a confirmation of what should be done, made to me (or, rather the congregation), this morning. That's important and something to keep my mind on--focus on our future, I can't change the past. I wish I could change the past; however, no amount of wishing is going to make that happen. So, what am I going to do tomorrow? Will I make all efforts to improve our lives and future? Will I do everything in my power to let nothing wrong or negative happen? Yes, I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure that all our tomorrows are as perfect and happy as they ought to be. I will also make a conscious effort to not think about the past.

So, tomorrow. There's a doctor appointment we must go to. I also have to call the college I'm attending to double check some information and complete a couple of things. Hopefully, I will have time to read through the skills that I'm supposed to know by now (ugh). No big deal. So far nothing on tomorrow's to-do list seems difficult or has a presence of looming danger.

Anywho. What I was thinking about today:

I really do like my vehicle. No, I will not tell you what it is because I'm paranoid and also have stalkers (yes, creepy as it is, they're there). It's an awesome vehicle with remote start, push-button folding seats, adjustable pedals...and other bits of awesomeness. I really, really, really like it.

Now, I have to go make a shopping list. So....I'm going to go do that now.

Class ended on Thursday!

The last day of clinicals was today. I passed my classes so I get a certificate that I completed the training and am eligible to take the state test. Hopefully the state test isn't as difficult as I'm dreading it being. I'd really like to pass it and get my license. I'm excited, the next two weeks are going to be busy with appointments so time will pass quickly. I need to make sure that I read the skills everyday until test day, I think that will be enough to ingrain them all into my memory.

Last day of classes! Then, college!

Okay, the ADA representative at the college gave me awesome advice and information for what I need. But, it would really benefit me to get everything at least one week before classes start. This makes me sad. My classes start on May 28 and my appointment is on May 23. I did try to get an earlier appointment, but apparently...it's not important? or....this doctor has to be the one that sees me? ...I don't know...it's still frustrating that I can't see anyone earlier, though.

I need to remember to buy a recorder, so that I can get the whole speech and listen to it just in case I missed anything. This particular class is going to be difficult, ugh. I wish things were easier, but they're not and it's no good getting down on it. I should do fine, I refuse to let myself fail.

Today was the last day of classes, but we still have clinicals on Saturday. Then, we won't be doing the state exam until May 11. I'll be practicing and studying until then, hopefully everything will go well. There is so much that needs to get done still...

I'm relieved

I checked online what I owed the college and it doesn't say anything about my financial aid, so I was worried. Well today, I went in to talk to the FA office and she said that it's in the system and I'm okay. But, I still need to check for the Autumn-Spring semesters.

Also, I am doing spectacular in my current classes: mostly A's and a couple of B's! Today, our instructor "tested us out", basically a mock-test. I did horribly, but I just need practice--not to mention that my memory is good for nothing. She thinks that I will do just fine, though, and not only that but I am going to be studying a lot harder now. Now that I know what I need to work on, I refuse to let myself fail.

College doesn't start until May 28th and I still need to register for Autumn. Things seem to be falling into place, though, so I'm really not worried anymore. ETA: I'm still anxious about the ADA stuff, but anxiety isn't going to get me anywhere, I just need to wait until my doctor gets back...

That was fun

Clinicals were fun, I mean that, too. I learned a bit more and feel very comfortable about taking the state test soon. I didn't like that I was asked to do something that is outside of my scope of practice, (way out of it, considering I am unemployed!) so I refused and found my instructor. My instructor appreciated the info and said I did well, which is good to know since I wasn't too sure if I did right.

There is going to be a lot to get done this week, none of it is difficult but it is a lot. Also, maybe my doctor will get back to me soon about ADA because I am so anxious about that information and going into classes.